I will continue to cite Arrested Development and The Big Lebowski at every opportunity, be jealous of the success of others, and covet everything in sight. I will continue to like everything you like, but four years earlier, before it was cool. I will endlessly and tirelessly tinker and tweak every aspect of my life until it is refined to the point of near-uselessness, and obsess over this minutia at the expense of The Big Picture. I will be arrogant, snide, and steamroll everyone I come into contact with, and express nothing but a great deal of impatience and cruelty to my co-workers. I will point out the incompetance of others, take joy in their suffering, and draw a detailed picture about how you could have done anything better. In spite of these behaviors I will give generously of my time and financial resources to charities, march in protests, vote at every election possible, and lend a helping hand whenever I can to whomever I can.